pot of gold

by Rearview

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about

over the last year or so, when these songs were being written and recorded, i've been trying to figure out the answer to the question "what the hell am i doing with my life?" i didn't really set out to write much about that, but i ended up with a bunch of tracks that loosely chronicle the different ways in which i tried to answer that question, whether it be through relationships, religion, music, or whatever else. i (spoiler alert) didn't really find an answer, but that's how life do, i guess.

this was recorded (and mostly written) in my college dorm room over most of 2016, using a mic on my phone. my goal was to make an album that has a lofi sound to it, since i usually obsess way too much over recording quality. i sampled a lot of random sounds that i recorded from around my campus, the greater houston area, and my home.

thank you to my friends and family, y'all are the best.
special thanks to tyler for endless advice on recording and benjamin for taking the photo used in the album art.

thank you for listening!
i love you all!

credits

released December 14, 2016

guitar, words, vocals, piano, synths, sounds - eddie james

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all rights reserved

about

Rearview Houston, Texas

hello friendos! My name is eddie and I make folk/noise music under the name rearview. rearview is generally whatever music I feel like making and doesn't really have a genre restriction! thank u, bless.

some artists I like that inspire me: swans, devendra banhart, chelsea wolfe, gy!be, deftones, cloudkicker, the mars volta, ben frost, father john misty, and the cure.
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Track Name: gotta do (question)
what's a guy gotta do around here?
Track Name: a swallow through the glass of the roof
drooling on the pavement i
cross the asphalt of your mind's eye
as i expire
my final words
i love you darling
though my name you've never heard
Track Name: hopeless romantic
wouldn't you just love it if i,
introduced myself and told you how think about throwing myself out of windows all the time
wouldn't it be flirtatious if i,
bought you a drink and told you how I hate myself but I tell my family, friends that I'm fine

and they say that romance is dead,
but i can prove em wrong,
just look at all the meaningful
relationships I've formed with this song

wouldn't it turn you on if i,
laid you down on the bed and told you how I'm being torn apart by my own anxiety
wouldn't it be romantic if i,
asked you out for coffee and explained to you how my brains messed up and its own worst enemy

and they say that romance is dead,
but i can prove em wrong,
just look at all the meaningful
relationships I've formed with this song

so now that you know that I lay awake sleepless most nights
so now that you know that I can't make up my mind without internal fight
so now that you know that I think I'm both a piece of shit and a white knight
so now that you've been introduced to the fucking mess of my life

will you be my wife?
Track Name: disgrace
i like it when i can't feel my face
i like when i don't feel disgrace
i like it when i don't feel anything
i like it when i don't feel anything at all
Track Name: dog daze
one shot for a
girl I know
two shots for the
status quo
three shots and I'm
saying a prayer
to a god that I don't
even believe is there

i don't know what i'll do
if i can't find out, what happens to you
when a hearts stops
and a flatline turns up to eleven
do all dogs go to heaven?

so i got drunk on easter morning
i tried to find jesus in my vomit
but nothing was there
the bathroom wall had no blessing on it
i'm still wandering
but i would rather not talk much about it
and one month later
i finally wrote a good song about it

four shots for my
adulthood fears
five shots for my
failure to talk to my peers
six shots and I'm
thinking about
how my life will be nothing but worry and doubt

i don't know what i'll do
if i can't find out, what happens to you
when a hearts stops
and a flatline turns up to eleven
do all dogs go to heaven?

so i got drunk on easter morning
i tried to find jesus in my vomit
but nothing was there
the bathroom wall had no blessing on it
i'm still wandering
but i would rather not talk much about it
and one month later
i finally wrote a good song about it
Track Name: sorry
i'm sorry
that i couldn't be good enough
that i couldn't be wise or tough
i'm sorry
i'm sorry
that i just lost track of thoughts
and i'm sorry
that I just lost touch

with you
your thoughts
and your dreams
with you
your opinions
and your wounds

and I'm sorry
that I don't know who I am
if I seem too arrogant
i'm sorry
i'm sorry
if I hate everyone
and I'm sorry
that I'm uncomfortable

with you
your thoughts
and your dreams
with you
your opinions
and your wounds

and oh,
i'm sorry
eddie James
i'm sorry
eddie James
i just want to apologize
and I hope that someday you find yourself true
Track Name: writing songs about depression
well i've been here before
and i'll be here again
always lost in my head
a mindless night is drifting

well i got shit to do that's pressing
like making good first impressions
instead i'm sitting here confessing
through my stupid artistic expression

writing songs about depression

roll out of the bed
next morning in a daze
spent too much time last night
getting lost in the personal haze
checking my phone
see where i went wrong
i see what i wrote
and i move on to a new song

well i got shit to do that's pressing
like float through the day's various missions
droning on with no inhibition
so it's time for some self expression

writing songs about depression
Track Name: jerusalem/beyond the sun
come back jerusalem
come back jerusalem
come back from where you're from
come back from where you're from

come back delirium
come back delirium
there's still time for you to come
there's still time for you to come

come back delirium
come back jerusalem
tell us which way to run
tell us what lies beyond the sun

sun
focus
eyes to the lord

run
hocus
oblivion
Track Name: ¡¿nietzsche!? (or, alternatively, digging up nietzsche's grave and asking him if he found out if god is dead)
god is dead and so am i

"do not let the floodwaters engulf me, or the depths swallow me up, or the pit close its mouth over me, answer me, lord, out of the goodness of your love; in your great mercy turn to me. do not hide your face from your servant; answer me quickly, for i am in trouble." psalms 69:15-17
Track Name: mirror
step into my home
leave your shoes at the door
i want you to kill me
i want you to kill me

step into this room
i'll sit in my chair
you pick up the gun
you pick up the gun

look me in the eye
i'll smile and nod
pull the trigger softly
pull the trigger softly

it's over now
the end is pure
the shards of glass
a broken mirror
Track Name: high dive
i don't wanna die
i just wanna get high
Track Name: dear lord
i don't want anyone to die
i just want there to be an afterlife
anyone?
Track Name: thank you
as we all slowly die
i'd like to thank everyone for good times
they were good ones, for sure
they were good ones, weren't they??
thank you
Track Name: birdwatcher
where have you gone little edward?
watching the birds in your yard
where have you gone little edward
please take me back im so tired

i know i know i know i know
it's time
i know i know i know i know
goodbye

you can find them in your mind
if you try
you can find them in your thoughts
if you lie

a birdwatcher
a god lover
a drawing designer
a joyous smiler

i know i know i know i know
it's time
i know i know i know i know
goodbye

let them stay awake tonight
in my head
let them stay awake tonight
instead

a birdwatcher
a loving learner
a happy camper
all worries scattered

a world of love
a world of life
a birdwatcher
Track Name: gotta do (answer)
i will die
my friends will die
my family will die
my heroes will die

we all die
the end must come
they'll be no more smiles
and no more love

there's nothing i can do about it

i guess a guy's gotta die around here