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pot of gold

by rearview

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1.
what's a guy gotta do around here?
2.
drooling on the pavement i cross the asphalt of your mind's eye as i expire my final words i love you darling though my name you've never heard
3.
wouldn't you just love it if i, introduced myself and told you how think about throwing myself out of windows all the time wouldn't it be flirtatious if i, bought you a drink and told you how I hate myself but I tell my family, friends that I'm fine and they say that romance is dead, but i can prove em wrong, just look at all the meaningful relationships I've formed with this song wouldn't it turn you on if i, laid you down on the bed and told you how I'm being torn apart by my own anxiety wouldn't it be romantic if i, asked you out for coffee and explained to you how my brains messed up and its own worst enemy and they say that romance is dead, but i can prove em wrong, just look at all the meaningful relationships I've formed with this song so now that you know that I lay awake sleepless most nights so now that you know that I can't make up my mind without internal fight so now that you know that I think I'm both a piece of shit and a white knight so now that you've been introduced to the fucking mess of my life will you be my wife?
4.
disgrace 00:35
i like it when i can't feel my face i like when i don't feel disgrace i like it when i don't feel anything i like it when i don't feel anything at all
5.
dog daze 04:58
one shot for a girl I know two shots for the status quo three shots and I'm saying a prayer to a god that I don't even believe is there i don't know what i'll do if i can't find out, what happens to you when a hearts stops and a flatline turns up to eleven do all dogs go to heaven? so i got drunk on easter morning i tried to find jesus in my vomit but nothing was there the bathroom wall had no blessing on it i'm still wandering but i would rather not talk much about it and one month later i finally wrote a good song about it four shots for my adulthood fears five shots for my failure to talk to my peers six shots and I'm thinking about how my life will be nothing but worry and doubt i don't know what i'll do if i can't find out, what happens to you when a hearts stops and a flatline turns up to eleven do all dogs go to heaven? so i got drunk on easter morning i tried to find jesus in my vomit but nothing was there the bathroom wall had no blessing on it i'm still wandering but i would rather not talk much about it and one month later i finally wrote a good song about it
6.
sorry 03:41
i'm sorry that i couldn't be good enough that i couldn't be wise or tough i'm sorry i'm sorry that i just lost track of thoughts and i'm sorry that I just lost touch with you your thoughts and your dreams with you your opinions and your wounds and I'm sorry that I don't know who I am if I seem too arrogant i'm sorry i'm sorry if I hate everyone and I'm sorry that I'm uncomfortable with you your thoughts and your dreams with you your opinions and your wounds and oh, i'm sorry eddie James i'm sorry eddie James i just want to apologize and I hope that someday you find yourself true
7.
well i've been here before and i'll be here again always lost in my head a mindless night is drifting well i got shit to do that's pressing like making good first impressions instead i'm sitting here confessing through my stupid artistic expression writing songs about depression roll out of the bed next morning in a daze spent too much time last night getting lost in the personal haze checking my phone see where i went wrong i see what i wrote and i move on to a new song well i got shit to do that's pressing like float through the day's various missions droning on with no inhibition so it's time for some self expression writing songs about depression
8.
come back jerusalem come back jerusalem come back from where you're from come back from where you're from come back delirium come back delirium there's still time for you to come there's still time for you to come come back delirium come back jerusalem tell us which way to run tell us what lies beyond the sun sun focus eyes to the lord run hocus oblivion
9.
god is dead and so am i "do not let the floodwaters engulf me, or the depths swallow me up, or the pit close its mouth over me, answer me, lord, out of the goodness of your love; in your great mercy turn to me. do not hide your face from your servant; answer me quickly, for i am in trouble." psalms 69:15-17
10.
mirror 02:17
step into my home leave your shoes at the door i want you to kill me i want you to kill me step into this room i'll sit in my chair you pick up the gun you pick up the gun look me in the eye i'll smile and nod pull the trigger softly pull the trigger softly it's over now the end is pure the shards of glass a broken mirror
11.
high dive 00:57
i don't wanna die i just wanna get high
12.
dear lord 00:24
i don't want anyone to die i just want there to be an afterlife anyone?
13.
thank you 00:32
as we all slowly die i'd like to thank everyone for good times they were good ones, for sure they were good ones, weren't they?? thank you
14.
birdwatcher 06:19
where have you gone little edward? watching the birds in your yard where have you gone little edward please take me back im so tired i know i know i know i know it's time i know i know i know i know goodbye you can find them in your mind if you try you can find them in your thoughts if you lie a birdwatcher a god lover a drawing designer a joyous smiler i know i know i know i know it's time i know i know i know i know goodbye let them stay awake tonight in my head let them stay awake tonight instead a birdwatcher a loving learner a happy camper all worries scattered a world of love a world of life a birdwatcher
15.
i will die my friends will die my family will die my heroes will die we all die the end must come they'll be no more smiles and no more love there's nothing i can do about it i guess a guy's gotta die around here

about

over the last year or so, when these songs were being written and recorded, i've been trying to figure out the answer to the question "what the hell am i doing with my life?" i didn't really set out to write much about that, but i ended up with a bunch of tracks that loosely chronicle the different ways in which i tried to answer that question, whether it be through relationships, religion, music, or whatever else. i (spoiler alert) didn't really find an answer, but that's how life do, i guess.

this was recorded (and mostly written) in my college dorm room over most of 2016, using a mic on my phone. my goal was to make an album that has a lofi sound to it, since i usually obsess way too much over recording quality. i sampled a lot of random sounds that i recorded from around my campus, the greater houston area, and my home.

thank you to my friends and family, y'all are the best.
special thanks to tyler for endless advice on recording and benjamin for taking the photo used in the album art.

thank you for listening!
i love you all!

credits

released December 14, 2016

guitar, words, vocals, piano, synths, sounds - eddie james

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about

rearview Santa Barbara, California

hello friends! my name is eddie & i make experimental folk music under the name rearview. rearview is generally whatever music i feel like making and doesnt really have a genre restriction! thank u, bless.

some artists that directly inspire my music: the microphones/mt. eerie, swans, devendra banhart, chelsea wolfe, arca, ben frost, grouper, gy!be, dean blunt, father john misty, and talk talk
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